First Door on the Left

Some good news, and I need some this morning!

Whatever your progressive persuasion and/or whomever you prefer as a Democratic presidential candidate, last week’s Iowa caucuses were good news. As has been the resultant media storm that greeted the New Hampshire primary this week.

First, the caucuses and primary both inspired record voter turnout and a surge among college-aged voters, a trend that, if continued into November, could mean bad news for the Republican Party. This is especially bad news for Bush. Not only did Democratic doings bury his State of the Union Address, but he lost his final chance to set the agenda going into the election. His recycled litany of tired cliches (”stay the course”), fraudulent policies (privatizing Social Security, tax givebacks to the rich), fear-mongering and broken dreams went over like ice cream in Antarctica.

Secondly, the results are proof that the pundits — none of whom came close to predicting them — are, as I’ve long suspected, pulling stuff out of their asses on a 24-hour, 7-day-a-week basis. I have this recurrent fantasy that all these people, from Tim Russert to Matt Drudge to Sean O’Hannity-reilly-coulter to even “respected” journalists like Dan Rather and Bob Schieffer are machines whose brains have been replaced with harmless mush wired directly to Karl Rove’s red phone. Every time he rings them up, their brains scream: INCOMING! Their lips begin to move, and the words that come out of their mouths are market-tested White House fabrications.

Third, the polls (also bearing little resemblance to the reality of the results) are largely meaningless now. This is more bad news for the White House, which had previously found ways to skew them through Orange Alerts and manufactured news events. A story you probably missed, because it was buried somewhere between Britney’s deflowering and Michael Jackson’s perp walk, reported that more Americans are dropping home phone lines and using cell phones as their only contact point. Since FCC rules forbid pollsters from dialing cell phone users — a violation with a $500 penalty per call — the only Americans whose opinions polls are registering are the few at home these days. Indeed, in most homes, both adults work second jobs, manning Wal-Mart aisles or wiping mad cow drool off McDonald’s tabletops. Eventually, all polls will come down to one hearing-impaired widow in rural Missouri: “Eh, what’s that? What do I think of the job George W. Bush’s doin? Whistle Ass Bush? That pitiful boy still president?”

Fourth, we can happily ignore all conventional wisdom. Howard Dean, for example, is probably not out of the race. In any event, his candidacy has done more to excite voters of all ages than anything the Democratic Party itself has done in the past four years. True, he was pilloried for his post-caucus rant. But as a friend put it, “The press will overplay Dean’s performance. The Iowa results were like a straight right to the face and it made Dean act dopey.”

Fifth: Even if Dean does not get the nomination, he has performed an invaluable service. Dr. Dean’s relentless attacks and dogged battling have given a moribund party a much-needed transfusion. It’s no surprise that Kerry and Edwards only started surging when they stepped up their game to match Howard’s.

Finally, the best news: Voters are sick of George W. Bush. They are not going for Kerry and Edwards and Clark simply because they like their hair and/or sweaters or because they’re blown away by their ideas. They simply want a candidate with the best chance of winning. Many probably favor Dean or even Kucinich (who has emerged as the conscience of his party the way that McGovern was in 1984). But they put that behind them and went for Kerry, longtime senator, war hero, mature, measured.

And, suddenly, it’s a ballgame. This only means the Democrats will dominate news coverage for the rest of the election cycle. What else do Republicans have in their bullpen besides their $200 million “war chest” (how perfect does that hackneyed phrase now sound)? Cheney is roundly despised by most Americans anyway. Nobody else in the party, besides McCain, has any national stature and he despises Bush. Colin Powell has become a tragic figure, giving good spin to reporters from his hospital bed. Condi Rice is a buffoon who can’t answer a question honestly without looking like she’s going to burst out crying.

Bush’s war is his albatross. He can “stay the course” all he wants. But that course will hopefully lead him back to his Crawford ranch. Mark my words: Republicans only understand money and power. They will abandon Bush when they smell that loser aura the rest of us smell. Oh, this is going to be a very interesting and, ultimately, enjoyable year!

The emphasis in the above article is mine.

Howard Dean is still the best man in this race, and will definitely make the best president. I’ll be watching developments over the next couple of weeks very closely!