Nov 30 2003
The infamous bus ticket
Some newspaper columnists appear to have way too much free time. At least, this one does…
ONE of Howard Dean’s favorite stump-speech lines is a promise to give President Bush “a one-way bus ticket back to Crawford, Tex.”
The trouble is, there is no bus to Crawford, where Mr. Bush has a ranch and would presumably retreat after his stint in the White House. Greyhound’s closest station is in Waco, 18 miles away, and Waco’s local bus service, known as the Hop, stops at the city limits.
There are three options if Dr. Dean gets his wish and sends the president ridin’ the dog to Waco. Mr. Bush could leave at 1:50 a.m. and arrive the next afternoon at 2:50, making 29 stops but only one transfer. Or take the 9:30 a.m. bus, cutting the trip by three hours and 45 minutes but requiring three transfers - which would complicate work for his Secret Service busmates. Or leave at 11 p.m. on the shortest route, although it includes two overnights, landing in Waco - remember, he still needs a ride to the ranch - at 7:30 a.m., two days after leaving Washington.
The cost is not, as Dr. Dean might seem to suggest, getting two million people to donate $100 each to his campaign, but just $145 ($79 with seven-day advance).
Mr. Bush can take solace in the tradition that departing presidents get a final ride home on the presidential airplane. But there appears to be no specific constitutional impediment to alternative transportation on Greyhound One.
Whatever. The point is… well, you know the point. (We might let him use the plane, as long as he has no more than two pieces of carry-on luggage, and they both fit in the overhead bin.)
While a bus ticket from D.C. to Waco may in fact only cost $145 ($79 with seven-day advance), it is going to cost a whole lot more than that to get Mr. Bush out of Washington. Have you done your part yet?
