First Door on the Left

My dad taught a class in high school. I took his class and got an A. That wasn’t surprising. I got an A in every class in high school. What was surprising was how much I enjoyed his class. I didn’t think I would.

My dad passed away a year ago today. We miss him.

We watched the encore presentation of the infamous Michael Jackson interviews tonight. I have never been a big fan of Michael Jackson, but somehow I found myself on his side. I got the distinct impression that the interviewer (some British guy, I forget his name) was looking for some sensationalism, and was visibly disappointed when he didn’t get it.

He wanted Michael to say things like “Sure I sleep with little boys, and I bugger them all the time” or “I’ve had at least 30 plastic surgeries on my face. Doesn’t it look fabulous?” Of course he did not say these things, try as this so called journalist might to get him to. If I had been Michael, this guy would have been out on his arse before the first day was over. This was not good television, and it certainly was not good journalism.

‘They stretched as far as the eye could see’

Everywhere there were placards – “War takes lives, peace takes brains”, a painting of a Madonna holding a dead baby with a halo around its head and the words, “Who are the first victims of war?” A woman carried a small pink sign reading, “A village in Texas has lost its idiot”.

He’s not lost. He still comes back to visit once in a while. We all hope that in January of 2005 he’ll be back to stay.

Did you happen to catch the typo in this story?

Top counterterrorism officials loathe any attempt to quantify the number of people in the Untied States with ties to Al Qaeda, since the number fluctuates literally every day.

I have to wonder if it wasn’t deliberate. Whether it was or not, I think it was appropriate.

If you find yourself sitting alone in front of your computer monitor on Valentine’s Day (as I am right now, since the s/o has left for work and I need to leave in five minutes), take a moment and go read Kerr’s site for a list of what makes a true southerner.

I was not born here, but since I have spent more than half of my life here, I believe I may now consider myself a true southerner.

Still do not like grits, though.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I got my Valentine’s gift a couple of days early. It arrived in the mail today (Wednesday) and the s/o just couldn’t wait. If you’re curious as to what it is, you can find out here. (Warning: not work safe!)

Our coffee table will never be the same.

We’re not moving to Houston, after all. The s/o was offered another position here with the same company. He may even end up getting a bit more money. He could start his new position as early as March 3. He’s happy, so I guess I am too. Though I will admit that the prospect of moving and starting over again was kind of exciting.

I wish life came with Cascading Style Sheets. It would be so much easier to get things situated just as you want them.

I think I may be addicted to a pain medication. Last summer I had a pinched nerve in my neck. The doctor prescribed a pain pill. Now I find that unless I take one prior to going to bed, I cannot get to sleep. I don’t really need them for pain any longer. It seems I just need them to get to sleep. Does this mean I’m addicted to them?

I call the pharmacy, the pharmacy calls the doctor, the doctor approves a refill of the pills, and I go to the pharmacy to pick them up. I haven’t seen my doctor since last summer, yet he keeps approving the refills. I wonder what kind of pain he thinks I am having.

How convenient is it that we now have a tape from bin Laden that, according to Colin Powell, proves a link between him and Sadam Hussein? We’re going to have this war, people. You may as well get used to the idea. The oil companies are already taking advantage of the situation by raising gasoline prices through the roof. What’s the point in being President of the United States if you can’t make your buddies a little wealthier?

So the time has come for me to be reviewed at the job from hell. I’ve only been there for about eight months, but it seems that all management personnel get reviewed during the month of February. A couple of days ago I received this e-mail from my manager:

“As you know we are getting ready for review time I need for you to send me a list of you Accomplishments for 2002. Please have those for me by 2/17/03.”

(The misspellings and grammar errors are all hers, folks. You’re seeing it just as I received it.)

Hmmmm… my “list of Accomplishments for 2002.” How’s this? 1) I haven’t killed anybody yet. Sadly, that’s about all I can come up with. What do you think? Will it get me a humongous raise? To my way of thinking, it should.

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”

2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

3. “Can you hear me NOW?”

4. “Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!”

5. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

6. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”

7. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

8. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.
You do the Hokey Pokey….”

9. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

10. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must aquit!”

11. “Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

12. “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”

13. “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”

I think my favorites are 3 and 13.

Back to the light. The dark lasted about 48 hours, but it’s over. Life is too short to be lived in the dark. Gloom and doom be damned. I’ve had enough.

Nobody has ever handed me anything. Ever. Everything I have I’ve worked for and earned. So as much as I bitch, moan and complain, nobody is going to make things better. That’s up to me. If things are bad, it must be because I want them to be bad. If things are to get better, it must be me that makes them better.

I hope some of this is making sense. I’m awfully tired right now and should be sleeping. I would be sleeping if I had the sense God gave a gnat. Twelve hour days at a job I hate are wearing me out. I need to find a new job, one in which I can be happy and feel some sense of accomplishment. Did you get that? I need to find a new job. Nobody is going to come along and hand me one. They never have, and they never will.

In other news…

WASHINGTON — President Bush on Friday encouraged the U.N. Security Council to quickly come to a decision about confronting Iraq, or the United States and a coalition of allies would disarm Saddam Hussein themselves.

We are going to war. George has made up his mind. Actually, I think he had it made up a long time ago, before he even stole the election. Doesn’t matter what the rest of world thinks. It’s time to jump on the wagon or we’re going without you. As our infamous president likes to say… “You’re either with us or against us.”

Where’s bin Laden? We don’t care. He’s history. It’s time now to go after Hussein.