First Door on the Left

I’ve been doing a bit of thinking since that last post, and I’ve decided that the real reason I don’t have a job yet is that I don’t really want a job (yet).

I don’t want somebody telling me I have to be someplace at a given time every day of the week. I don’t want somebody taking away my time and not paying me nearly what it is worth. I don’t want to have to deal with people to whom I normally would not give a second glance or a moment’s thought. I don’t want to feign respect for some boss or manager who hasn’t the intelligence God gave an olive, and certainly not as much as I have (a little more than an olive).

Nobody is paying me for my time right now, but it’s my time to do with as I please. I have a bit in savings, so I’m not in panic mode just yet. And if worse comes to worse, I can always cash in my 401(k). (Though it is worth less than half now of what it was worth before the little Bush took over, and the government would take a big chunk of it in taxes and early withdrawal penalties.) Besides, I really want to take a road trip “home” for Memorial Day at the end of May. If I had a job, I most likely would not be able to do that.

I’ll keep looking, and I’ll keep shooting my resume out over the wires, and I’ll probably not refuse a decent offer. I’m just saying it’s not going to break my heart if I don’t find something right now. That’s all.

They say that networking is the key to landing a good job. You’ve got to get out there and network. Let people get to know you, expose yourself. Most jobs are never listed.

I am not a good networker. Somehow, and I realize I am wrong to do this, I equate networking with ass kissing. I’ve never been a good ass kisser. I’ve read in several places that in order to be successful, you need to be a good ass kisser. Maybe it is time for me to suck it up and learn how to kiss some ass. I don’t know. I’ve made it this far in life without kissing ass. Let me think on this for a while.

They also say that church is a good place to network. Church members are always there to help each other out. There may be a problem in that area, in that I no longer believe in organized religion. I used to. I even wasted two years of my youth in South America proselytizing for the church I once belonged to (was raised in). I have seen organized religion destroy too many lives. I no longer subscribe to it. I still consider myself a Christian, and still have Christian values and all that. I just cannot bring myself to become one of a flock.

So, where does that leave me? Back to the kissing ass thing. I guess I need to start practicing my pucker, eh?

Not that anybody ever would, but if somebody were at sometime to try to comment on one of my posts, and that somebody were to get a blank white screen in response, I would ask them to please try again a little later. You see, my host is having intermittent problems with their apache installation. They believe somebody has a script installed that is messing with it. Gee, I hope it’s not me!

When they say “this movie has been formatted to fit this screen”, how do they know how big my screen is? And that girl in the Mitsubishi car commercial, you know, the one having the seizures in the passenger seat? I hope they are on their way to the hospital, because that girl needs help!

Do you get the feeling, as I do, that I am watching way too much television these days?

No haircut today. I forgot, and I guess you forgot to remind me. Maybe tomorrow.

Also no action on the employment front today. It amazes how people are literally (not) falling over themselves in the rush to hire me. Is there no demand for experience and maturity? (he asks laughingly)

I’m looking for some links to add to the sidebar. If you’d like me to add you, please so advise. Anybody except you, Wil Wheaton, because you have enough people linking to you already! (Yeah, like Wil Wheaton would be visiting my site!)

I really (really, really) need a haircut. I think my last one was in February, or perhaps late January. I’m beginning to look like the social outcast that I feel like.

I have a coupon for a free haircut at Supercuts, which is a hair “salon” I realize many professionals would not be caught dead in. However, for those not yet initiated into the ranks of the unemployed, let me explain that the word free carries with it a very special meaning.

So, tomorrow, haircut. Definitely. Remind me if I forget, please.

Nasty weather roared through here last evening. We got wind, rain and a bit of hail. Over in Fort Worth, though, they got tornadoes. Several homes and a few business were destroyed. Most of the roof was blown off a church. Ah, yes, springtime in Texas!

Times change, and so do people.

No matter where you may spend your adult life, home will always be the place where you grew up. I went home for my father’s funeral in February. I saw people I had not seen in years, some since high school.

One fellow cornered me and talked to me for a good thirty minutes. He told me all about his failed first marriage, his second marriage, his grown daughter from the first marriage and his toddler son from the second. He told me about his career, his younger brother who died of cancer a few years ago, his father who is now 95 years old and still going strong. The thing is, through all of this I had no earthly idea who this fellow was.

Somebody finally came up and spoke to this man, calling him by name. Then it struck me. This was one of my close friends from high school. He and I had always run with the same crowd. He had changed. He was skinny in high school. He is skinny no more. He had lots of hair then, he doesn’t now. He was always the optimistic one then, he isn’t so optimistic now.

We had a good, long talk. We shared a lot of things, once I knew who he was.

Life changes people. Everybody there said I haven’t changed at all. But I know I have.

I have this little bump on my back, right below my right shoulder, that is driving me crazy. It itches all the time, especially at night when I am trying to go to sleep. In fact, it is itching right now. I do not think it is a bug bite, because it doesn’t look like any bug bite I’ve ever had, and it isn’t going away. I’ve had a lot of bug bites. Bugs don’t like me, and the feeling is mutual. (I have yet to bite one, however.)

So, two weeks ago Monday, I called my doctor’s office. The nurse answered. “I have this bump on my back that isn’t going away and is really bothering me.” “Oh, I see you’re due for a complete physical.” “I don’t want a complete physical. I would just like the doctor to look at this bump on my back.” “Okay. I can squeeze you in at 2:30 Friday afternoon.”

I arrived at the office at the appointed time, and was promptly escorted into a tiny, very cold examination room. The nurse told me to have a seat and the doctor would be with me momentarily.

The doctor came in at 3:00. “What can we do for you today?” “Well, you see, I have this bump on my back that isn’t going away and itches terribly.” “I see. Well, strip down to your underwear and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Wondering why I would need to strip down to my underwear so the doctor could look at the bump on my back, but figuring the doctor probably knows best, I stripped down to my underwear. I sat there in my underwear, shivering my ass off, for 20 minutes. The doctor finally returned and proceeded to do a complete physical! Turn your head and cough, finger up the you-know-what, look in ears, eyes, and up nose, EKG, needle jab to draw blood, peeing in a cup, the whole workup. He never once looked at the little bump on my back.

I asked him about the bump on my back. “Oh, if it gets any bigger or really starts bothering you, call me.”

I have received copies of the bills for my outing to the doctor’s office from my HMO. Doctor: $228.00. Lab: $286.35.

Amounts paid by my HMO: Doctor, $140.15; Lab, $78.36. These are what they call the “usual and customary” charges for the services I received. They say I am not liable for any further charges, so that is good.

I need to find a new doctor.

Alright, I realize that nobody is reading this, but just in case somebody is, and somebody would like to get in contact with me about something, I have added a contact link over there on the left. The message thus initiated will magically appear in my mailbox. If I respond, and I usually will (unless your message does not require a response, or is just so lame that I cannot think of one), the message you receive in return will have my full name on it. So, if you think you know me in real life and want to confirm your suspicion, just pop me an email. Though heaven knows I have dropped enough clues in here already that your suspicions should have already been confirmed.

I will most definitely respond to any emails that begin with “I think I have a job for you!”

It’s been a quiet Sunday around here. I spent a good part of the afternoon rewriting the template for this page, which you would not notice unless you had visited prior to today. I have been trying to convince the other half that he needs to get his behind off the couch and go to Pappa’s BBQ to get dinner, but so far have met with little success in that department. We’ll see what develops as the evening wears on.

I have been unemployed since November. Here it is April already. I will confess that, after nearly thirty years of going off to work every day, five days a week, the vacation has been nice.

However, I am about ready for it to be over.

It has been a long time since I’ve been in the job market, and maybe I’m not up on how things are done these days. But if any of you reading this work in human resources or if you are a hiring manager, there is one thing you could do for me. When somebody goes to the trouble of responding to one of your job postings, at least respond to them in some manner. A simple “thanks, but no thanks” would suffice.

I have been trying to not choose a side to cheer for in the Israel-Palestine conflict. I don’t know all the facts, and it wouldn’t really make a hill of beans difference which side I chose anyway. I am, however, starting to lean just a bit more toward one side of the fence than the other.

A Palestinian spokesman who appeared on the evening news last night said something to the effect that you have to expect the Palestinians to protect themselves. My question to him would be, since when is walking onto a bus filled with civilians, wearing a belt bomb, and blowing yourself and several other people to kingdom come called protecting yourself? In most of civilized society, that is called suicide-murder. Stop it.

It also seems to me that the current administration of the United States is being just a bit naive in the way in which they are trying to handle this situation. They can’t decide which side of the fence they are on, either. Asking the Israelis and the Palestinians to stop fighting and to live with one another in peace and harmony is like asking cats and dogs not to fight. They simply do not like each other. It’s in their genes. Granted, some cats and dogs do get along; however, most do not.

Did George W. Bush send Colin Powell to conference with Osama bin Laden? He did not. Why, then, is he sending him to talk to Yassir Arafat? Doesn’t make sense. At least, not to me. Not that it matters a hill of beans.

We went to the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young concert at Reunion Arena last night. Loads of fun. You know, for a bunch of old guys, those guys can still rock! If you get a chance to see them, I’d recommend you go. Exciting times.

I have not yet introduced myself. I am a somewhat middle-aged (yes, one of those over-30s who can use a computer, somewhat) man living in the heart of North Central Texas with his partner of 26 years. We are living in the home we purchased together some 16 years ago (guess we wanted to be sure this thing was going to work before making a commitment). Our two cats are our children, and they are spoiled beyond belief. My spelling is atrocious, which is why I always have a dictionary within reach. I just had to look up commitment (one t) and atrocious. I am often accused of having no common sense whatsoever, so you will need to get over that as well as my spelling.

I decided to get into this “blog” thing because, well, everybody else is and it looks like fun. I definitely plan to really “get into it”. I’ll share my thoughts, opinions and feelings about a lot of things. You’re welcome to come along for the ride, but please keep in mind that though I may have sense, it often is not of the common variety.