However you plan to celebrate the 236th birthday of the United States of America, be careful, be safe and be cool.
Happy Birthday, America!
Here is Michelle Bachmann’s explanation of why we celebrate this day. (via most reliable source Jimmy Kimmel)
In 1775, Thomas Jefferson and John Quincy Adams set sail across the Delaware River to tell the King of England they had enough of his liberal agenda. King James called Napoleon and together they decided to kill America.
They sent the Nina, the Piñata and the Santa Maria to fight. But then, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln gathered an army to turn back the big government dictators. They told Paul Revere to ride his horse to Frodo. But then, John Wilkes Booth showed up and killed Lincoln. But there was still hope, because Jesus appeared on the face of the Liberty Bell and he froze John Wilkes Booth in carbonite. And the liberal homosexuals sailed back to their gay country, while Americans claimed their land and drank beer. And that’s how freedom was born.
P.S. I believe Sarah Palin may have helped Ms. Bachmann with the research.